Briefly, I’ll be up in Banff next weekend. It will be a short trip as I’ll get in around 2 PM on Sunday afternoon and fly out at 2 PM the following afternoon. I have a meeting in Calgary at 10 AM on Monday and even though I’ll probably be EXTREMELY tired I plan on trying to maximize my time in Banff by driving a portion of the Icefields Parkway (Road from Banff to Jasper National Park) to take in some scenery I haven’t been fortunate enough to see yet. Last summer I spent a weekend exploring Yoho National Park which is just west of Banff – it is definitely more secluded (although where I go in Banff never seems to be that busy anyways) and I enjoy that sense of solitude. It gives me time with my thoughts – and while some people don’t like that feeling I’ve always enjoyed being alone with thoughts – even if the thoughts are painful.
Today is my first father’s day without my father. I miss him dearly everyday but I continue to do my best to make him proud. He texted me (I originally wrote ‘wrote to me’ as if he crafted this eloquent letter but who are we kidding we are in the modern age and even my Dad towards the end of his life learned to text with the best of them) the day before he passed away the following:
“Thanks for making my life so fulfilling. I can’t explain how wonderful you guys (my sisters and I) make me feel. Thanks for being such beautiful human beings….You’ve made my life unbelievable”
Among those words he also wrote how proud he was of all of us and how happy he was that we are his kids. We grew up with a very modest and loving family – we weren’t poor but my mom and dad busted their asses to provide for us. Each of us has gone on to be very successful in our respective fields and the pride he took in our accomplishments made all the long hours studying, working, etc… worthwhile. I read that text message almost daily and never once can I get through it without tearing up. It’s been seven months and while it gets easier it will never be easy. I miss him every day – as I sit here typing this watching the US Open I just want to text him and get his thoughts on the difficulty of this course. We went to our first Detroit Tigers game last week without him – sat in almost his same seats. We had a lot of family with us but it wasn’t the same. Every passing significant moment is another challenge. Last weekend was the Tigers game, this weekend is Father’s day, next month will be our first big ‘family’ trip, then his birthday, etc… the wound remains open but we most go forward and we must press on. He lived his life with no regrets and we should all be so lucky – even if in these moments we don’t feel that way.
Emerald River at Dusk (Yoho National Park)
“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.”
― Henry David Thoreau
All of us have struggles and the ultimate success story belongs to those who continue to put one foot in front of the other and push forward. We cannot recreate the past all we can do is create the future. We must learn from what we’ve failed at and do our best to succeed in the future. I’m struggling right now with some financial/investment decisions I made eight years ago and it is making me maniac trying to determine my course of action going forward. I certainly feel regret for those decisions but I’m not dwelling on it as I look to future and just determine the next course of action. There is nothing that can be done to rectify the past – all I can do is make the best decision today and put my next foot forward.
Today’s blog has NOTHING to do with photography….sorry about that. Back to basics soon but just had to get all that sh!t off my chest this afternoon. Thanks for reading (if for whatever reason you made it this far!)